While there are many varying opinions about what led to the disappearance of Springbok winger S’bu Nkosi and the mental health issues he is struggling with, Vodacom Bulls chief executive Edgar Rathbone has expressed his disgust with some of the social media commentary around the incident.
Nkosi was found earlier this week after a three week absence and has been given off indefinitely to deal with his mental health issues, but Rathbone did mention that he was shocked by some of the social media commentary that has been aired by fans on the incident, and how completely insensitive some of the comments have been towards the player.
“Looking at comments on articles, and social media, it’s quite frightening that stones can be thrown so quickly at someone,” Rathbone said.
“I think we all need to look at ourselves, considering that everyone is going through different challenges, we’re not immune to it. We have to have some respect, rugby players are not robots or machines, they’re human beings. And human beings read stuff, and see comments, and they are not immune to it.”
Rathbone said he had found a player who was “hurting” and that the only logical response as Nkosi’s employer was to give him the support he needed in this time.
But he did highlight the need for men in particular to embrace help in their time of need, and said that while it was not unique what had happened to Nkosi, it wasn’t a sign of weakness to ask for help.
“If you look into the eyes of anyone who is experiencing hurt, and who are at a low point in their lives, it is heartbreaking. It’s a combination of three weeks of worry, and then to see, here is a young man sitting with a lot of hurt, who needs to be helped,” Rathbone said.
“I looked a man in the eyes yesterday, that I could see he was hurting. And that’s my reality.” Like with any relationship with you or your family, there is always a responsibility from both parties to basically either pick it up, or someone to say ‘Listen, I’m struggling with something’.
“Us as men are very good at it, to hide stuff away and make as if everything is fine. That’s obviously a flaw of us, and that’s why I commend Sbu for saying ‘Listen, I’m not okay’.
There are obviously questions on why his family had not informed the Bulls either before or after the story went public, especially as he was found at his father’s home.
“Sbu does have a complicated family environment, which I really don’t want to comment on any further – I think that’s his privilege.
“But any mental health issue or problem that you have, you have to want to be helped. I got the sense that Sbu really wants to get back on his feet and be helped.
“At this stage, his dad is assisting him, and that’s his safe space – to be with his dad and to just be a son to a father for a bit, and not be Sbu Nkosi the rugby player.
“That’s playing a healing element in his life, so we must respect that. But obviously going forward, professional help will be needed as well.
Rathbone said he believed the issues stemmed from a multitude of factors, and the pressure of being a modern sportsman colliding at the wrong time.
“Sbu made it very clear yesterday again that he was unbelievably excited to join the Bulls, as this was his fresh start,” Rathbone said.
“And there must have been disappointment from his side to not be on that flight that night to go and join the Springboks, because of his injury. That all plays a part. Was this just an unfortunate episode of accumulative circumstances? And I think that’s exactly what we are dealing with.
“We need to understand that Sbu probably came onto the scene at a very young age, at 20, left his parents’ house at an even younger age to pursue a dream of going to Jeppe and being a professional sportsman. That does have its pressure. He is a World Cup winner at the age of 22, 23, so I think in the end, it just adds up.”
The unfortunate nature of the incident, and its impact on a top player, underlines some of the toxicity of social media and the part it plays in a sportsman’s life.
And while it may not have been the cause, it played a part. And as Rathbone says, deserves a rethink from every person who comments out there.