Neil's Tour Diary from Down Under - Chapter 1

WEDNESDAY, 21 DECEMBER

When a cricketer spends a decade gradually improving and working his or her way towards belated international recognition, it is patently absurd to consider dropping them after earning two caps. Such is certainly the case with Khaya Zondo who top-scored in South Africa’s otherwise pitiful 99 all out at the Gabba with an unbeaten 36.

The 32-year-old admitted today that he wasn’t the only one “still coming to terms” with the differences and demands of test cricket but the mere fact that he was able to bat for 85 balls on a spicy pitch against a potent attack, without being dismissed, is sufficient evidence to warrant his retention for the second test at the MCG on Boxing Day.

“The two tests I’ve played have both been on hectically bowlers-friendly pitches but you don’t get to choose the conditions you play in, those are the cards you are dealt. Obviously, I’d love a flat track to play on, and the bowlers would hate it, but I’m sure, the more games I play, I’ll get onto better batting wickets,” Zondo said.

His first cap came as a Covid-substitute against Bangladesh in Port Elizabeth in March, when he fielded for just over an hour and did not bat. His ‘real’ debut came in the third test against England at the Oval which ended, in defeat, in comfortably less than two actual playing days. Again, he batted longer than most of his teammates with a sound defensive technique. 

“Test cricket is played between the stumps, making you play with a straight bat.” In both games his method was the same, and simple. “I just tried to defend my stumps, watch ball closely and give myself time to adjust for the movement. In those conditions I thought it was a waste of time for the bowlers to bowl short, the movement was happening on a full length.”

Having started his career in two of the shortest test matches in modern times, Zondo was reminded that the last test match at the MCG also finished inside three days:

“Well, if it finished in three days then that’s a day longer than the first two tests I’ve played in. You can’t play the game ahead of time, let’s see when we get there. But I don’t think they will prepare a pitch like that (at the Gabba) again, I’m sure there will be an effort to make it fairer between bat and ball in Melbourne,” Zondo said.

Dean Elgar was asked after the first test whether consideration had been given to launching, or attempting to launch, a ‘counter-offensive’ against the bowling in the second innings. Not exactly throwing ‘caution to the wind’, but playing more aggressively in the knowledge that a wicket-taking delivery was inevitable sooner rather than later.

“We could have done that, but even if you counter-punch you could nick it or a ball could nip back and bowl you. There were maybe four batters who contributed anything of substance in the match, there was hardly any time to throw counter-punches. It was hard just to ‘get in’ before you could consider trying that,” Zondo said, entirely reasonably.

Apart from training at the Allan Border Field and the (still) curious online press conference with Zondo, two hours after we’d been at the same venue, the scheduled fifth day of the test match afforded more time to explore Brisbane. The river, the parks, the local Aussie Rules club… the unique, local architecture. And there are still two days to go before I leave for Melbourne.    

TUESDAY, 20 DECEMBER

Some cricketing reputations are hard to change. If a young batter fails against a couple of short balls early in their career, especially in high-profile matches, they can be labelled ‘bouncer bunnies’ for years to come, no matter the reality.

Hashim Amla was just such a case - and used the misinformation to his great benefit by ‘secretly’ becoming a very fine player of the short ball and scoring many thousands of runs against it while bowlers persisted in trying to bounce him out.

One tired misperception on the international cricket circuit is that the Australian media is actively biased against touring teams and hell-bent on discrediting them while doing everything possible to ‘puff up’ the home side.

As with the bouncer thing, it may have been true many years ago but in the age of electronic and social media, declining newspaper sales and strict media watchdogs to ensure ethical reporting by punishing the publishers of anything gratuitously scandalous, the Australian team is just as likely to ‘cop it’ as any touring players.

On the last SA tour to these shores, Australia were bowled out for 85 by Kyle Abbott and Vernon Philander to lose the series in Hobart and the resulting headlines came as close as legally possible to human rights abuses. “Disgrace to the Baggy Green!” screamed the back page of The Australian, as I recall.

The Tabloids are still mischievous but are more likely to frame their ‘click-bait’ stories as questions these days rather than accusations or brazen insinuations. They still need to sell newspapers and increase their website ratings, after all.

One such ‘teaser’ in today’s tabloids was on Sarel Erwee’s possible ‘snub’ of Marnus Labuschagne who offered a handshake in the moments after the test and then appeared to withdraw it when Erwee walked past him. 

When I was asked what I thought of the TV footage I replied that Erwee was the least likely member of the Proteas squad to snub anybody. A widely respected gentleman of the game, on and off the field, with a sense of perspective on life and cricket more developed than most.

It didn’t stop the tabloid from running the story. It was too easy. No accusation, just a question: ‘Did Erwee snub Marnus?’

Many readers and viewers took the bait, including one South African journalist whose Twitter handle says he is ‘multi award-winning’. He took to the platform to berate Erwee for his lack of sportsmanship in defeat. Which was the equal but opposite equivalent of accusing David Warner of being ‘a good sport.’

In a typically calm and even-handed manner, Erwee responded:

“Oh Faizel🤦🏼‍♂️
Surely as an award-winning journalist, one would do some research before making assumptions?!
The longer, original and correct footage will show us shaking hands and exchanging Afrikaans words… but go ahead, you run with your story.”

The Proteas enjoyed (presumably) their second day off following the two-day test defeat but will resume training on Wednesday before travelling to Melbourne on Thursday. If Erwee sets the same example on the field as he has off it, and handles the bowlers as calmly as he has the media, he’ll score a hundred.

MONDAY, 19 DECEMBER

In the melee of shocked and bewildered Australians, unfamiliar with test matches finishing so quickly on home soil, was a gentleman called Paddy who was bemoaning the lack of a third day’s play at the Gabba. He had good reason to be disappointed, well above and beyond the mere disappointment of having no cricket to watch.

Paddy sits on his club side’s committee and is responsible for raising funds to keep it afloat and pay for the maintenance of the clubhouse etc. This year the club had invested heavily in the third day of the Gabba test, hiring one of the venue's largest corporate suites and selling over 360 tickets to guests. High-profile former players had been booked to speak before play and during the lunch and tea breaks and an auction of wine and memorabilia was planned for the close of play.

Catering included lunch and afternoon snacks and the takings from the cash bar were expected to be lucrative. The weather forecast was excellent and the South African team was a major, popular drawcard. A lot of time and money had been invested.

“We were down to about 30 people after the game finished,” Paddy said. “I spent the night working the phone, trying to persuade them that it would still be a good day, still a good lunch and, you know, a couple of cold beers. But it’s not quite the same watching the ground staff mow the outfield instead of test cricket. I still can’t believe what’s happened…”

There are no guarantees in test cricket, of course, but if the ground staff had spent a little longer mowing the pitch on the day before the test started, and South Africa had a better-equipped top order, Paddy and his club might’ve been alright.

Bearing in mind Paddy’s predicament and the frustrations of South African cricket followers, the official wording on the Proteas' movements for the next two days might have been more carefully considered: “The Proteas test squad will rest today and tomorrow following the early conclusion of the first test…” Rest isn’t necessarily the first requirement that comes to mind.

Nonetheless, an opportunity to enjoy a lazy run around Brisbane suburbia which yielded a beautiful park with an outdoor, weatherproof gym overlooked by a house with a glorious take on Christmas decorations. 

SUNDAY, 18 DECEMBER

Australians seemed shocked by the brevity of the match but, for South Africans, it is the third test in succession which has lasted less than the equivalent of two playing days having been rolled over in quick time by England at Old Trafford and the Oval in August and September.

It was the second-shortest test match ever played on Australian soil lasting a total of just 864 deliveries compared to the 5th test of South Africa's 1931-32 tour when they were bowled for 36 and 45 at the MCG. That 'contest' spanned a mere 656 balls as the tourists were on the receiving end of a 5-0 loss, each match a positive thrashing, three by an innings, one by 10 wickets and another by 169 runs.

In that fifth test Australia's legendary left-arm spinner, Bert Ironmonger claimed figures of 5-6 and 6-18 for a match analysis of 11-24. This has absolutely nothing to do with what happened at the Gabba today but sometimes it's easier to be distracted by history than face the reality of the present.

In fact, let's do a little more distraction. Marco Jansen (3-32) claimed his 40th test wicket as Australia were bowled out for 218. Only two players in South Africa's history have reached that number with a lower average. Vernon Philander's first 40 victims cost a mere 13.6 runs apiece and Mike Procter's just 15.02. Jansen's first 40 wickets have been taken at an average of 17.9.

But back to the truth. It was a "spicy" pitch which was "not a good advertisement for test cricket" said Dean Elgar afterwards. It certainly did not provide for a 'fair or even' contest between bat and ball but, understandably, Pat Cummins wasn't complaining after his 5-42 had bundled the Proteas out for just 99 in their second innings.

I asked Elgar on ABC radio after the match whether he and his team had considered attempting to "throw a few counter-punches" before they were bowled out on a pitch which saw wickets falling approximately every 25 balls for both teams. Perhaps chance their arm and play a few more shots given that nobody was likely to be out there for a long time.

"We did talk about doing that after lunch (when South Africa were 3-2 after five overs) but we needed to get a bit closer and, anyway, I prefer to see the guys get stuck in and grind it out for a bit. Temba and Khaya did exactly that and showed that it wasn't impossible to bat.

"But either way, if you get out grinding or counter-punching you're going to get criticised," said a phlegmatic Elgar – which explains the look on both of our faces. "I'm still processing what has happened. I certainly didn't expect 34 wickets to fall in two days when the test started. 

"We still back and believe in ourselves as a batting unit but we need to stand up and start delivering, starting with me. We have a massive opportunity to hit back in Melbourne with our bowlers doing so well at the moment but just have to put the runs on the board that we need. I don't see us benefitting from hitting lots more balls in the time between tests, especially because our preparation in the build-up to the series was so good, but we'll take a few days off to reflect and see how we are after that," Elgar said.

He admitted it was too early to speculate about the team composition for the second test, specifically about the inclusion of a sixth specialist batsman in place of one of the five bowlers. But he was open to the possibility: "A seven-four split was on the cards before this test and, on reflection, that may have been the way to go, but it depends on conditions and we'll see how things are looking when we get to Melbourne."

The Proteas are unlikely to change their travel plans which means they will now have three days 'off' in Brisbane before flying to Melbourne, as scheduled, on 22 December.

SATURDAY, 17 DECEMBER

The Proteas' top order was expected to struggle against the Australian attack on a Gabba-greentop and the tourists' own fast bowlers were expected to pose at least as many questions as the home side's fast bowlers – and all expectations were fulfilled as South Africa were dismissed for 152 before Australia finished on 145-5.

The crowd attendance at the Gabba broke the first-day record in Brisbane for a non-Ashes test surpassing the 26 353 which attended the opening of the first day-night test against Pakistan six years ago and they could hardly complain about a lack of incident and entertainment for their dollars.

A platoon of over 200 Star Wars 'GabbaTroopers' took their position just below the commentary boxes at the Vulture Street End adding colour and flavour in equal measure as well as raising money for various charities. As much as the stadium may be portrayed as a 'bowl of bonhomie' with cheerful smiles, it is more a 'concrete bowl' staffed by scowling attendants prioritising hindrance over help.  

South Africa proved their batting to be as frail as their fast bowling is formidable. A total of 152 would more accurately be described as 'average' than 'disappointing'. It was the fifth consecutive test innings in which the Proteas have failed to reach 180 following scores of 151 and 179 against England at Old Trafford and 118 and 169 in the third test at the Oval.

It was also the 11^th occasion this year in which they have failed to reach 200 in 10 tests. Statistically, the current batting line-up is the weakest South Africa has fielded for 80 years, which shines an illuminating light on just how potent the bowling attack has been to keep the team in contention for a place in the World Test Championship final in England next year.

If there was 'potential' amongst a group of batters in their mid-20s with the belief, or even just hope, that they might grow into a formidable run-scoring unit, there would be reason for optimism. But the top five which lined up today are each 32 or older and have enjoyed lengthy careers. Their international days are rapidly coming to an end.

Without Kyle Verreyne (64) and Temba Bavuma (38) who added 98 for the fifth wicket the test might be all but over after just a day. "If we can keep their lead below 100 then we believe we are still in the game," Verreynne said afterwards. "We didn't score the runs we would have liked and we're playing catch-up but we can definitely make something happen in our favour.

"When we had them 27-3 it was exciting – then Travis Head (78*) edged one which fell just short of Dean at slip. If that had carried then who knows what might have happened," Verreynne said.

Asked whether he believed he should stay at number six, Verreynne said: "I usually bat at five in domestic cricket so it actually feels a bit low for me!"

FRIDAY, 16 DECEMBER

Every time the word 'Sandpapergate' is mentioned one of the most defining test innings of the last decades between South Africa and Australia is forgotten - again. In fact, almost everything that happened on the field during the Newlands test of 2018 is forgotten apart from the moment Cameron Bancroft reached down the front of his pants and emerged with the infamous piece of yellow sandpaper.

Dean Elgar carried his bat for a record-equalling third time in his career in the first innings for an unbeaten 141 to earn South Africa to carry his team to 311 and what transpired to be a critical lead of 56 runs.

"Thank you for mentioning that," Elgar said, grin widening, as he spoke on the Gabba outfield on Friday afternoon before the first test on Saturday. Four years later the weight of expectation on his shoulders to carry South Africa's batting is greater than ever. It is a burden he is happy to bear.

"I always carry the weight of scoring runs, I'm the senior batter. Even with my external pressures of being the captain, I've got to score runs and I'm very much aware of that. Yes, I scored a hundred during Sandpapergate but that's history. The weight and burden is always on my shoulders. It's something I thrive on, I think it brings the best out of me."  

It was Elgar's second hundred against Australia having scored 127 in Perth two years earlier and they represent the sum total of hundreds this Proteas squad have scored against the Australians. Elgar has been talking to the batting group about what is required to succeed here.

"A lot of courage. You've got to have the mindset of playing to win and I've been summing that up in speaking at length within our squad. Australia's a really tough place to play cricket but also such a rewarding place if you get things right, playing test cricket in Australia is such a privilege. You have to take your opportunities, you have to go beyond what you are used to and have to savour the moment. The legacy and history with Australian and South African cricket is so rich, we are another talented group who can achieve something great," Elgar said.

He cannot do it alone, however: "All the batters have to stand up. It's been a talking point surrounding our batting unit of late, again I've never shied away from that, it's time for the guys to rise up, and time for me to put my hand up and make a massive play for us. We've got a really talented group, they are just a little inexperienced when it comes to Test cricket. But they don't have a lot of baggage coming into the series. They just need to take the opportunities when they come their way," Elgar said.

Elgar spoke less about his bowling attack – or, at least, with far less concern. In fact, the emerald green grass put another smile on his face at the prospect of unleashing his four-pronged pace attack: "The green colour doesn't scare us. This is one of those wickets where, if you get in, you can really capitalise but, from a bowling point of view, you know there's a length you really need to hit and you can also get some rich rewards. But the wicket does look a little friendly for our bowling unit which is nice," Elgar said.

Would he bowl first if he won the toss? "Our bowling is our strength and I'd rather be facing them in the nets than in the game. There is a temptation to bowl, no doubt, but generally in Australia you want to bat first…runs on the board is massive."

So, definitely four fast bowlers? "I'm pro-four fast bowlers with a spinner. Keshav has been an amazing asset for our team. When he's played we've had really good success so I think the balance is probably 6-5. We've got to use our big fast bowlers, that's been one of our greatest assets."  

Australia's captain, Pat Cummins, addressed the media before Elgar and said he was confident the series would be played in an atmosphere of mutual respect without the animosity and downright nastiness of the 2018 series in South Africa. Elgar endorsed those sentiments: "The history and tradition of South Africa and Australian cricket is so rich. Hopefully it's played in a good spirit. There will be moments, no doubt, where there will be a few feisty encounters but hopefully it doesn't reach the stage that we experienced in 2018.

"What's happened in the past happened. There's no grudges. We know they want to win, we want to win. There will always be a moment where egos and the heat of the moment gets to the guys but I think it will be better controlled this time," Elgar said.

THURSDAY, 15 DECEMBER

In the normal course of events, Malibongwe Maketa would have been appointed Proteas men's coach following the non-renewal of Ottis Gibson's contract after the 2019 World Cup. Maketa, one of the most successful coaches in domestic cricket with the Warriors, was Gibson's assistant and the natural heir to the job.

But a malfunctioning administration prevaricated for too long and Makweta was leap-frogged by Mark Boucher. He was seconded to the High Performance programme and given the SA 'A' job which was hardly a 'job' given how little cricket the 'A' team has played in the last two years. Now, finally, he is behind the wheel of the national team. So how does it feel?

"It's been a great challenge, working at international level is not something you just get 'given', you need to earn it, and I'd like to think I have done that. Working with the best players in the country is a goal achieved for me," Maketa told a press conference at the Gabba on Thursday.

"It's only 'interim' but, challenging these players to come here and do well, it feels like a great honour. It is a great honour."

Maketa, of course, has not come into the team 'cold'. He was in England with the squad for the first Test against England, at Lord's, which the Proteas won handsomely. "I have been touching base with the players on a regular basis so it wasn't foreign to me, it was actually a pretty seamless transition. It was important for me that, working with Dean (Elgar) we didn't use this period as an excuse that we 'didn't have this or that'. I have tried to support him as much as possible," Maketa said.

    The coach suggested very strongly that any 'sledging' from his players about what happened in the last series between these countries – both Sandpapergate and the result, 3-1 – would backfire: "It was a painful time for them and some of them are still paying for what happened. Reopening old wounds might just bring them together and make them stronger," Maketa said.

Meanwhile, opening batsman Usman Khawaja, one of five players in the likely Australian starting XI who played at Newlands in 2018, insisted that the current team has 'moved on' from the events of four years ago.

"We're a very different Australian cricket team from what we were back then. The way we go about it, the way we play. A lot of the guys have matured a lot, both as cricketers and humans. They're a bit older, couple more kids, a lot of things have changed and we definitely play our cricket differently," Khawaja said.

"I expect this series to be played in a lot better spirit, I kind of know it will be. At the end of the day, we can only control what the Australian cricket team does. I feel like the way we've played cricket over the last few years has been a representation of showcasing our skills and how well we're playing," Khawaja said.

Have they discussed the Newlands test and 'sandpaper' in the build-up to Saturday's first test?

"It's a good question - it honestly hasn't been, and I'm being genuine. It's because time heals all wounds. The guys have come so far from there, both as individual players, but also as a team and we've got a bigger picture. It's obviously the first time we're going to play South Africa after what happened but everyone's got so many different things going on in their life from where they were four years ago.

"That actually gave guys a lot of perspective. Australian cricket, as a whole and as individual players, we were probably at rock bottom right there. It gives you a lot of time to reflect and look back on things. The guys have genuinely learned a lot from that incident. I look and see where the guys were four years ago and where they are now. There's been a lot of growing up and there's been a lot of maturity. I probably got to see it better than most because I was in the team, then I went away and then I came back in, so it's been a nice change," Khawaja said.

The 35-year-old opener offered unconditional support to his 36-year-old fellow opener, David Warner. Almost. "He's got a couple of 20s in recent tests but he always looks like he's going to make runs to me, I always expect his next innings to be a big one. If it's a question of picking David or someone else and it was up to me, I'd pick Davey every time," Khawaja said.

Asked whether the 'noise' around Warner, both his form and, more resonantly, his attempts to have his lifetime leadership ban after Sandpapergate overturned, Khawaja simply shook his head without expanding. How was Warner's state of mind? "You'd have to ask him that," Khawaja said. "I'm a mate but I don't know what's in Davey's mind."

Khawaja was quick to praise and acknowledge Kagiso Rabada as the "undisputed leader of their attack. He's been their best bowler for a long time, he's always a good challenge, no matter if you're facing him at the start or with an old ball, you are always wary of him. I've scored runs against him but there are no easy Test runs, and they are never easy against KG."  

Anrich Nortje, he admitted, was one of the fastest bowlers in the world: "But I've faced express pace my whole life, you face guys who bowl rockets all the time, it's just part of the game. As a top-order batsman, if you don't find a way to face that type of bowling you won't have much of a career. But they can't bowl forever, so if you get through that spell you still have to worry about the other guys," Khawaja said.

WEDNESDAY, 14 DECEMBER

Confirmation in today's Brisbane Courier-Mail double-page cricket spread that David Warner remains the major talking point, among many, ahead of Saturday's first test at the Gabba. Head coach Andrew McDonald insisting that Warner retains his and the team's full-backing - for now.

Honest but 'polite' talk about the value of experience and the provision of 'energy' from the 36-year-old opener was also, clearly, not intended to shy away from the reality of the 36-year-old's declining form in test cricket, the format in which he will celebrate his 100th cap in the second test on Boxing Day at the MCG. He will, surely, be selected for that no matter what happens in Brisbane.

Marnus Labuschagne spoke at the picturesque Allan Border Field before Australia training today and, not for the first time, embraced his South African heritage naming Graeme Smith, AB de Villiers and Dale Steyn among his sporting heroes growing up in Krugersdorp before his family emigrated when he was nine-years-old.

Asked about recently becoming a father he said: "It has meant less time watching cricketing videos and obsessing about my game but, I am obsessive and I am still obsessed with cricket and trying to become better all the time and, hopefully, that won't change because it is who I am and what has made me the cricketer I am."

Labuschagne's phenomenal series against the West Indies in which he scored three consecutive centuries (including an unbeaten double) has set him up for the series against South Africa which he admitted would be "a very different challenge" during which he expected "plenty of heat" from the Proteas pace attack.

When he said he didn't expect 'Sandpapergate' to be mentioned much on the field between the teams it initially sounded naive. But a closer inspection of the personnel involved reveals that he is almost certainly correct.

. .

Only Dean Elgar, Temba Bavuma (if selected), Keshav Maharaj and Kagiso Rabada remain in the Proteas XI from the Newlands test of 2018 while Warner, opening partner Usman Khawaja and Steve Smith are the only Australian batsmen with Pat Cummins, Mitchell Starc and Nathan Lyon among the bowlers. Rabada and Elgar are the only two tourists likely to 'speak' of the matter inside the boundary ropes and both are more likely to respond than initiate conversation.

With Warner's focus on scoring runs and keeping his place in the team, Smith is unlikely to chirp having served a year's ban for his part in the scandal and the bowlers with even more to lose by reminding the opposition of their team's indiscretions, sand-paper probably will go unmentioned. To start with, anyway.

Until someone invents a pill or potion to cure jet-lag in 24 hours rather than the week it usually takes me, the old methods will still apply. A gentle jog around suburbia with gritty eyes.

TUESDAY, 13 DECEMBER

The more Cricket Australia and the national players deny it, the more apparent it is that David Warner is both a welcome, match-winning member of the team and, simultaneously, a huge, unwelcome and potentially distracting influence ahead of the South Africa test series.

Warner's frustrated abandonment of his six-month long attempt to get his lifetime leadership ban overturned following the Sandpaper-gate test at Newlands four years ago has caused endless and, as far as the team is concerned, unwelcome debate ahead of the first test in Brisbane on Saturday.

Cricket Australia's independent 'Ethics Commission' decided they needed to revisit the events of the Cape Town test match to assure themselves of Warner's contrition. The opening batsman decided that would not be in the best interests of his family, completely understandably, or 'of his teammates', which wasn't quite so clear.

For a man who spent the majority of his career aggressively, and successfully, claiming cricket's moral low-ground as his exclusive property, it is difficult now to digest his stringent attempts to clamber for the moral high-ground, but a life-time ban for anything is debatable, but especially for a sporting misdemenour.

For pertinent, perhaps, is his recent test record. Averaging less than 25 in test cricket for the last two years and not looking as though his form is likely to improve, will the 'distractions' soon prove irrelevant?

MONDAY, 12 DECEMBER

Some international trips are longer than others but the 40 hours from Cape Town to Brisbane is one of my Comrades, although there was a welcome bonus. Apparently, if Emirates can't connect you to your onward destination within 12 hours they provide a hotel room, transport and complimentary meals while in transit.

So here I am, opening my Down Under Tour Diary from Dubai Airport having enjoyed a jog around the airport suburbs, a decent meal and a comfortable sleep. This is a new experience. I must investigate the possibility of bad connecting flights more in future.

Not that it wasn't possible to follow the progress of the Proteas in the four-day practice match against a Cricket Australia XI at the Allan Border Field in Brisbane prior to Saturday's first test at the Gabba. Although my eyes weren't there, those of several, seasoned Australian colleagues were. They reported an apparently well-rested, 'relaxed but obviously focused' group of tourists.

Lungi Ngidi and Theunis de Bruyn especially impressed them with their comments after play showing no signs, in their words, of 'the usual tense, suspicious South Africa players we're used to.'

Aware of my concerns about the apparent gulf in standards between the two teams on current form, never minds career statistics, one of my oldest friends in the game, a Brisbane resident, said: "Mate, don't underestimate your boys' chances. They've been well settled in Brissy for over 10 days, they look calm and relaxed and they don't appear to be under any illusions, which hasn't always been the case in the past.

"The Aussies, meanwhile, have been in Perth and Adelaide before getting here and, although the West Indies were in horrible form as opposition, they still took time out of the bowlers' legs. We used to say that a team had an 'edge' if they'd played games while their opposition had not but I have a feeling that, this time, given the schedules these days, South Africa might be better placed being fresh. Cummins missed the last test and Hazlewood is out of Saturday's. The 'fearsome' Aussie pace attack might be puffing a bit already."

We shall see soon enough. Kagiso Rabada, apparently, looked far more refreshed than rusty after his recent break from the game while Anrich Nortje, Lungi Ngidi and Marco Jansen were amongst the wickets. But it was Gerald Coetzee who most caught the eye of the Aussies watching. Maybe it was the tail-end hat-trick he took, or the fact that he was very evidently bowling in excess of 150kph, a fact confirmed by the CA XI batsmen. "Or maybe it was his 'Karate Kid bandana," said my colleague. "Probably all three. But he's definitely got something about him, definitely one for the future."

Four-Day Tour Match Update ??

Gerald Coetzee (3?/3?6?) wrapped up the innings by claiming a hat-trick after Lungi Ndigi (3?/2?6?) ripped through the top order ??

Scorecard ??? https://t.co/A0XsrZde6D#AUSvSA #BePartOfIt pic.twitter.com/sjMZqHsJ7k

— Proteas Men (@ProteasMenCSA) December 10, 2022

Before I leave I thought you should know two things about Dubai: The building where Emirates train their pilots is built in the shape of an aeroplane. And the world's tallest building, the Burj Khalifa, with which I have been obsessed since it was built, is STILL monstrously huge from my complimentary hotel, 10 kilometres away.