Neil's Diary from Down Under - Chapter 2
WEDNESDAY, 28 DECEMBER
Professional sportsmen and women have delivered some of the great mixed metaphors and malapropisms of modern times from “it’s all over the bar shouting” to “we must catch the bull by the socks and pull our horns up.”
On Thursday he described his team’s demolition by an innings and 182 runs as “a bit of hiding” before contributing to this rich list of linguistic fusions with this nugget of honesty: “We’ve got to hit the nail on the head and call a spade a spade.” Indeed the players do need to do both of those things, along with many others in positions of influence and authority in South African cricket.
Honesty is very hard for sportsmen and women in the immediate aftermath of defeat – and victory, for that matter. And Elgar certainly wasn’t in the mood straight after the defeat to stop kidding himself.
“Inexperience is hurting us…” he said, understandably oblivious in the heat of the humiliation to the nonsense of his comment. How did inexperience contribute to their ineptitude? It was incompetence, not inexperience. Only two of the starting XI have less than 10 test caps – Sarel Erwee and Marco Jansen have nine apiece.
How many tests must a player finish to become experienced? 30? If that’s the number then Sarel Erwee will be 37 years old by the time he’s experienced.
Changes desperately need to be made. Forget about the personnel in the team for the moment, they are mere ‘details’. The real, fundamental shifts must be in the thinking behind South Africa’s approach to test cricket: how do they want to play the game, what do they want to achieve and what sort of players do they want to select, and on what criteria. If those things don’t change, the results will only get worse.
The fourth day began with Erwee and Theunis de Bruyn putting the finishing touches to their attire in the dug-out on the side of the pitch, right next to the ABC radio’s preview team in which I was deputising for Ashwell Prince alongside Glenn McGrath. As the Proteas overnight batsmen crossed the boundary within a couple of metres of us, host Corbin Middlemas asked: “So Neil, can they bat the whole day? Can they bat two days?” “I’m sure they’ll give it their best shot, Corbyn.”
The early on-field exchanges were given an extra shot of flavouring by De Bruyn continually leaving his crease prematurely to the chagrin and then disgust of bowler Mitchell Starc. At the drinks break Starc was interviewed on Spidercam: “I think he was halfway down Punt Road, wasn't he? It’s bad enough in white-ball cricket, what does he need to do that for in red-ball cricket? I was just letting him know if I have to keep my foot behind the line, he can keep his bat behind the line,” Starc said. Frankly, if Starc had run De Bruyn out after two warnings there would not have been a dissenting or critical voice in a media centre packed with former players.
Starc’s ability and determination to bowl 18 overs with a broken finger in the second innings was extraordinary: “It was a test match with a series on the line and I didn’t want to leave the guys a man down. Besides, pain killers are a wonderful thing,” he said after the game, kindly keeping his bruised and bloodied left hand firmly in his pocket. It will take at least a month for the tendon to reattach itself to the bone in his middle finger and a further 2-3 weeks of rehab before he will be fully fit again, just a fortnight before the first test against India.
Finally, South Africa’s highlight of the day: Lungi Ngidi’s career-best score disappeared under the radar but his 19 (2x4, 1x6) gave him an aggregate of 33 runs in the series, more than the No 1 batsman in the world, Marnus Labushagne (30) and his captain, Dean Elgar (31). It may not mean much to readers of this Diary, but it will to him!
TUESDAY, 27 DECEMBER
Not since the 2002 test match at the Wanderers have Australia enjoyed quite such a gluttonously dominant day against South Africa. Back then Adam Gilchrist was taking pot-shots at an advertising billboard which promised a bar of pure gold to any batsman who hit the target.
It was a test match, not a benefit match, but Gilchrist almost became a very wealthy man on his way to what was, at the time, the fastest double century in test cricket. South Africa had nothing to fight back with, Makhaya Ntini, Andre Nel and Jacques Kallis having to share an injured Allan Donald’s overs while Nicky Boje did the bulk of the toiling as the tourists posted a total of 652-7. Neil McKenzie even bowled eight overs – for 50 runs.
Twenty years later it was a full-strength attack, led by Kagiso Rabada, which had to rely on retirements and run-outs to get rid of more batsmen than they were able to effect with the ball. Marnus Labuschagne’s mix-up with David Warner was laughably silly. But not to a dejected Marnus.
With Mitchell Starc suffering serious knuckle damage on the middle finger of his bowling hand while in the field and Cameron Green also being hit on his bowling hand by the excellent, persevering Anrich Nortje, the hosts may be down to three frontline bowling options when South Africa bat again. It may, or may not, make a difference with the first innings lead likely to be over 300.
Nortje being knocked over in the field by the ‘Spider Cam’ was a metaphor for the team’s fortunes. Naturally, there were ‘serious’ complaints from some quarters about the potential dangers that the ‘Flying Fox’ could pose to players if it made contact with the head but Nortje picked himself up and laughed it off. It was almost the only laugh of the day for the tourists, and it was a shallow one.
The other, far heartier, was provided by Rabada who ‘worked’ the crowd at fine leg like a professional stand-up comic as they mimicked his warm-up stretches behind him. Slow, slow, quick – one arm at a time, side-stretch, toe-kick, windmill. All to the effects of the groaning crowd. One very happy memory to take home.
Kyle Verreynne’s usual immaculate glovework let him down twice dropping legside catches off Steve Smith on nine and Warner on 121, the persevering Marco Jansen and Lungi Ngidi missing the chance to break a partnership which eventually realised 229 runs.
It’s hard to manipulate commentary schedules to have the most ‘appropriate’ person on air for the ‘big’ moments and it’s often the way that the least likely person is behind the mic. And it fell to me and Ashwell Prince to describe the moment David Warner reached his 25th century in his 100th test, the 10th man to score a hundred in his century of tests. I was on again a couple of hours later when he reached his 200 and retired with cramps and general exhaustion in the 38-degree heat.
Similar is the forecast on day three. Given their bowling limitations, Australia will bat until they are dismissed – even if that means all day. With the series on the line, they will adopt the ‘eggs in one basket’ approach and bank on winning by an innings.
MONDAY, 26 DECEMBER
Such has been the paucity of runs and cheer over the course of the last three test matches that a single century partnership and a first innings total of 189 all out almost felt like a good day. Almost.
Plunging to 67-5 half an hour after lunch, having been asked to bat on a faultless pitch, was worse than the gravest pessimists had feared. But Kyle Verreynne (52) and Marco Jansen at least filled some soil into the hole the team was in if not extricating them from it. “We’re relying on the bowlers yet again,” a laconic Verreynne said afterwards. “It would be nice if we could give them a decent total to bowl at, for a change.”
The MCG, at least, lived up to his dreams and expectations. “It was awesome. To walk out there to bat in front of 65 000 people, it was special. It was also amazing at the Gabba last week but this, Boxing Day at the MCG, pretty special.”
The place was already beginning to buzz at 6:45am with the first, smartly dressed guests arriving for a host of breakfast functions and the less formal, keen for their favourite seats, making camp in front of the ticket booths which were not due to open until 8:30am.
It is a magnificent venue for a number of reasons, not simply because of its imposing size and capacity. Access in and out is expertly designed and serviced by road, bus, tram and the adjacent train station. Huge, sweeping walkways make the journey on foot from the city centre hassle and traffic-free and, for those needing a timeout from the stadium during the day’s play, the adjacent Fitzroy Gardens offer a tranquil break.
It wasn’t the largest first-day crowd – some potential ticket-buyers were said to have been dissuaded by the Proteas' performance at the Gabba in Brisbane last week – but, nonetheless, 64 876 is still a considerable volume of humanity yet it melted in and out of the ground as though it was a couple of hundred.
The most recent addition to the statues on the walkways on the periphery is that of Shane Warne. It is the first test match since his death in March and, cautious that an overload of beer might lead to an excess of emotion, stadium administrators had safety barriers placed around it. The bronzes of Donald Bradman, Bill Ponsford, Keith Miller and Dennis Lillee were left to fend for themselves.
The statues are just part of an appreciation and affection for the history of the game, and not just Australian. The first, hand-written laws of the game decorate the walls of inside the entry to one gate and the great, individual performances in history, from local and visiting players, are celebrated with pictures, plaques or graphics in many corners of the ground.
Not only are the bowlers required to perform near miracles to keep the tourists in this test match, the batters will have to surpass, perhaps, even their own expectations in the second innings to have the remotest chance of a series-levelling victory.
“I know it may not look like it to the public but we’re still in a good place, still believing in ourselves. This was harder to accept than the previous tests where there were a lot of good balls bowled in difficult conditions, but this time there were more soft dismissals. But we still prepared well and, hopefully, we can do a lot better in the second innings,” Verreynne said. A lot, lot better.
SUNDAY, 25 DECEMBER
It was a glorious morning in Melbourne, typically cool enough in the morning to merit thoughts of a light sweater but burgeoning into balmy summer’s day. The example set by the early-rising sun was not followed by the majority of the city’s population. The streets were mostly still empty by 9:30am when Australian captain Pat Cummins conducted his traditional Christmas Day press conference.
The Australian players mostly played with their children on the MCG outfield although, unsurprisingly, the self-confessed ‘obsessives’ in the team, Marnus Labuschagne and Cameron Green, both a full net session against eager schoolboy and club bowlers. There are reasons the prior is the number one ranked batsman in the world and the latter was just bought for R40million in the IPL auction.
Cummins seemed proud and bewildered in equal measure by the energy of his one-year-old son, Albie, and was involved in a couple of team meetings with wife Becky – the conclusion of which appeared to be that Albie should run himself back to sleep. Which he did.
The South African were not at the MCG on Sunday morning for two reasons. They had two full training sessions on Friday and Saturday and their wives, families and partners arrived in the city on Saturday evening. Dean Elgar admitted that it “might be a bit chaotic” with a fresh infusion of jet-lag and excitable children into the camp before the test match but that would be off-set by the pleasure of joining up with their loved ones after three weeks on the road.
Elgar also confirmed that “all of the bowlers have kept their places” in the starting XI but that a change was likely in the batting line-up. With no specialist, reserve opener in the squad that would appear to indicate that Theunis de Bruyn might replace Rassie van der Dussen at number three. But we would have to wait until the morning of the match to find out, Elgar said, slightly over-reading the desire of the local press corps for the missing details.
The bars, restaurants and take-away sushi joints were doing a bustling trade on the banks of the Yarra River and the tourist cruise boats were as busy as any other day of the year, except the captains and their assistants were wearing Christmas hats. It all seemed idyllic, to the casual glance.
Melbourne is one of the most cosmopolitan cities in the world and it also seems to have more of a conscience than many other large cities. One of the largest gatherings by mid-morning was a communal braai or “Free Sausage Sizzle”. A noticeboard said: “If you don’t have family, if you feel alone, feel welcome here.” It was much more than a ‘nice touch’ – it may actually have embraced what the holiday season should be about.
The MCG still catches my breath after all these years. None of the current Proteas squad have ever played here, the last such occasion being in 2008. They all seem well aware of how special it will be but, like being able to pick a googly from a great leg-spinner, you’ve still got to play it. Let’s hope that a crowd in excess of 60,000 inspires rather than intimidates Elgar and his men.
FRIDAY, 23 DECEMBER
As far as positions in the Proteas coaching team go, you’d rather be Charl Langeveldt than Justin Sammons at the moment. Or Justin Ontong. Or even Malobongwe Maketa, for that matter.
Langeveldt has had the pleasure of working with the most exciting South African fast bowling units for 30 years, Ontong has no slouches to worry about in the field and Maketa, in his overseeing role, is not directly responsible for a badly misfiring batting line-up. Sammons, the batting consultant, is.
“We’ve got to keep our belief, and the players do have belief. We haven’t played to our potential over the last couple of tests but we’re also determined to get it right, and I’m confident we’re going to get it right,” Sammons said on Friday with commendable positivity following six consecutive innings in which the Proteas have failed to reach 180.
f his opening comments sounded like he was kidding himself, he quickly made it plain that he was under no illusions and was not interested in making excuses. Having had a glimpse of the drop-in pitch at the MCG for the second test, however, he did admit to some relief that it did not resemble the one at the Gabba.
“It felt a little bit soft but we’re still a few days out so we’ll see in a couple of days' time. It’s different in its colour and complexion! It’s green and there is grass on it, but it is less green than the Gabba was,” Sammons said. “Both teams play on it and we can’t use conditions as an excuse. The bottom line is that we didn’t play to our potential, if we did we would have had a better chance of winning the game. It’s about who adapts best and they, obviously, did that in the first test. We need to make sure we do that here, regardless of the conditions.”
Three woeful test match batting performances in succession are bound to affect confidence but, apart from mental strength, is he working on technical issues with the top order?
“It does depend on the individual and where they are at in their career, with most of the guys it is a mental space, deciding on their game plans and committing to them. They are also touching up on a few technical issues and making sure that they can trust their games,” Sammons said.
“Australia have one of the best attacks in the world, if not the best, and we have to be on our game, both defensively and in attack. When we get the opportunity to score we need to make sure we take them and, defensively, we need to be in strong positions and commit.”
Having such a potent bowling attack with the ability to put Australia’s batsmen under pressure must make the lack of top-order runs all the more frustrating?
“One hundred per cent, without a doubt. The bowling unit has been unbelievable throughout this Word Test Championship cycle and the batting group wants to pull its weight and contribute to match-winning performances,” Sammons said. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and, if that means studying the likes of Steve Smith and Marnus Labuschagne, Sammons has no problem with that.
“You’ll always look at the opposition and see how they go about their business, they are playing in their home conditions so it would be naive of us not to look and identify what they are doing, so we’ll watch and take what lessons we can.”
Visiting teams have famously struggled to come from behind in Australia but the Proteas aren’t daunted by that: “We’ve played our best cricket when we’ve been behind so the group takes confidence from the performances in the past coming from behind. We beat India 2-1 after losing the first test and we came back strongly in the second test against New Zealand, so it’s not something we’re afraid of doing.”
Apart from the match and series result, there is the considerable matter of the ‘occasion’. A crowd in excess of 70 000 is predicted for the opening day and emotions will be running even higher than usual with tributes planned to the late, great Shane Warne on his home ground.
“Everybody in the squad is very excited, it’s what dreams are made of. Everybody in this squad would have dreamt of playing a Boxing Day test at the MCG so it’s about embracing it now, going out there and enjoying it, every moment, embracing the challenge.”
While the Proteas flew to Melbourne I remained in Brisbane for one final day and a little more exploring. A jog through Kalinga Park revealed its landscaping had actually been carried out by jobless soldiers returning to the country after the first World War – Aussie ‘Diggers’ as they were known. Lest we forget. As ‘big’ as Monday’s test feels, it is still a game of cricket.
THURSDAY, 22 DECEMBER
A quiet news day is exactly that – although the Australian cricket media can do a remarkable job of filling dozens of pages of content between them. Bubbling away since well before the series started has been the subject of David Warner’s form and whether he is likely to continue playing test cricket much beyond his 100th test match starting on Boxing Day.
Australia’s next tour is to India where he averages 25 followed by an intensive Ashes series in England starting in May. On the last Ashes tour to England he averaged less than 10 in five tests and Stuart Broad dismissed him seven times in 10 innings. The consensus is that he will not be taken to India but, as is the Australian way, will be given the opportunity to ‘move on’ on his own terms.
14 years ago Makhaya Ntini ended the career of another great, left-handed opener. Matthew Hayden was convinced he was just going through a ‘form slump’ but Ntini knocked him over for fun during the series and he retired soon afterwards. Kagiso Rabada has dismissed Warner on each of their last five meetings including first ball of the innings at the Gabba. Asked whether he thought he ‘had Warners’s number’, Rabada replied: “No comment.” We’ll see. Watch this space.
Then there is the usual ‘contest’ for leading test run-scorer and wicket-taker for the year. It always seems a pointless ‘accolade’ given the disparity between the number of tests played by the leading contenders but, for what it’s worth, England’s left-arm spinner, Jack Leach, has 46 wickets from 14 tests at an average of 38.3 apiece.
Next is Rabada with 45 from just eight tests at an average of 20 followed by Nathan Lyon with 43 from 10 tests at a cost of 29.2. Both could finish top of the pile with a good performance in the final test of the year at the MCG. Pat Cummins and Marco Jansen share sixth place with 35 each at averages of 21 and 17 respectively.
But my favourite ‘quiet news day’ story came from former Australian captain and Queensland legend, Allan Border, who pooh-poohed the ‘baggers’ of the Gabba pitch after the two-day test and scoffed at those who called it ‘dangerous’.
“Some of the stuff that was talked about the pitch was over the top,” Border said.
“I mean, it wasn’t dangerous for a start. That is not a dangerous wicket. I can’t even remember anyone getting hit other than the normal state of affairs, on the thigh pad or on the gloves.
“They’re going on about those bouncers that went flying over (from Nortje) — that was just terrible bowling on a fast, bouncy track.” Border admitted it “wasn’t a very good pitch” and “favoured the bowlers too heavily” but said that it was only “slightly wrong.”
“We’ve all played on pitches like that, it was just the quality of bowling and the batsmen never really held sway. Talking about it being dangerous is just not on. It wasn’t the case. It was difficult, but not dangerous. Travis Head (92) didn’t have too much trouble on day one.”
Advertisement