Neil's Diary from Down Under - Chapter 3
SUNDAY 8 JANUARY
A draw is better than a loss and 2-0 is better than 3-0 but nobody in the Proteas camp was seriously regarding their ability not to lose 14 wickets on the final day after following on as any sort of consolation. At least, hopefully not. Rain saved the Proteas from a whitewash, not 49 overs of batting at the end of the first innings and another 42 overs in the follow-on.
Simon Harmer advanced his credentials as a test No 8 option by facing 165 balls for his 47, the longest innings played by any South Africa during the series and one which contributed most to averting the possibility of a humiliating defeat. Keshav Maharaj wasn’t nearly as solid as Harmer but his top score of 53 from 81 balls was, at least, a fifth-test half-century. It’s not always about ‘how’, but ‘how many.’
Sarel Erwee will hope his battling 42* in the follow-on innings will keep his test career alive for the two tests against the West Indies in March although there are three or four openers in domestic cricket pushing for recognition.
Usman Khawaja was rightly recognized as man-of-the-match for his unbeaten 195 although selflessly telling captain Pat Cummins “don’t worry about me, we have a test to win” before the declaration was almost as noteworthy.
Khawaja has broken many moulds and preconceived notions in Australian cricket, not the least of which is his media interviews and the ‘taboos’ surrounding what can and can’t be said. The day before the test he described his lovely wife, Rachel, as a ‘Brisbane Bogun’ and spoke about his journey as a Pakistani kid ‘living the Australian dream and representing all sections of Australian society.’
Speaking to ABC Grandstand radio after the match he mentioned the challenges of preparing for a test match with a one-year-old, teething child. “I haven’t been home much lately so Rach wasn’t used to having me in the bed. She’s so sleep-deprived at the moment that, at 2:00 am in the morning, she pulled my head towards her and tried to breastfeed it.”
South African cricket, meanwhile, has many serious questions to ask of itself. Serious, honest answers will be more important than the questions. Is test cricket still important, and will it be important in the future? If it is, then solutions will be neither quick nor easy. Or cheap. This is not a knee-jerk reaction to a series of thrashing by a very good Australian team on home soil, the decline has been happening for years. Most people were blinded to it by results, achieved by a dwindling group of individuals on dicey pitches.
Spare a sympathetic thought for Dean Elgar. The Proteas test captain has endured a miserable tour of Australia beyond comparison for a specialist batsman. Only West Indian captain, Courtney Walsh, a renowned number 11, averaged less (7.75) in a minimum of five innings than Elgar’s 9.33 from a total of 56 runs. He has two tests against the West Indies and then one more this year, at the end of December. Who could blame him if he sought more permanent employment elsewhere?
Time to contemplate the long journey home and the real future, for now. SA20 here we come.
SATURDAY 7 JANUARY
A couple of decades ago it was all-but impossible to fight back in a three-test series having lost the first match but that has changed, in most countries. Falling behind in Australia remains the most difficult hole to climb out of and when you’re two nil down the prospects of a consolation victory are usually as bleak as…non-existent.
The Proteas still have 14 wickets to play with as they attempt to avoid defeat – they seem certain to follow-on with another 127 runs required to make Australia bat again. But should they score those runs and escape with a draw, at least a few individuals will be able to return home with something positive to think about. Maybe.
Marco Jansen spoke two days before the test about doing “whatever is necessary for the team” including “taking a few blows to the body.” So when he came out to bat Pat Cummins immediately went around the wicket and bowled ‘bodyline’ bouncers to him, just to see if he was as good as his word. He was.
The first thudded into his ribcage and his shoulder bore the full brunt of the Kookaburra a few deliveries later. The man has talent and character in equal measure. If South Africa plays enough test cricket in the years ahead to keep him interested, the indications and evidence of his commitment continue to a suggestion he can become the genuine allrounder he would like to be.
The Queen Elizabeth cruise ship docked in Circular Quay overnight, the fifth different liner in six days. She was too long to fit in the camera frame. Just over 2000 passengers, 1080 cabins, and 1100 crew. It’s a big business. What if all five ships were short of fresh salad when they docked? Or toilet paper, or anything really. The logistics are mind-boggling.
The question was asked frequently on commentary about whether Dean Elgar and his team have “one foot on the plane home.” It is impossible not to. We all have.
FRIDAY 6 JANUARY
The weather forecast was always bad for day three but it wasn’t that bad. Sydney has now lost more complete days of test cricket to rain than Manchester or Leeds and more than twice as many as any other Australian city.
There are increasingly serious calls to reconsider its suitability as the venue for the New Year test but, for all its dynamism and innovation, tradition dies slowly in Australia and the past – even the fairly recent past – is celebrated at most opportunities.
Some things have changed, however. History used to record the first ‘settlers’ from Europe as the ‘grandfathers and grandmothers’ of the new country but they are now remembered in a far more understated way. And as ‘settlers’ rather than ‘founders’. This modest plaque is placed at shin height on an inconsequential flight of steps near the Harbour Bridge. I noticed it tieing my shoelaces during the morning run.
My obsession with the Bridge and the Opera House means the same run on every morning of the test match. This morning was about the only time during the whole day when it didn’t rain. The curiosity of those who have never been up close and personal with the Opera House, may not know that the iconic landmark is clad in porcelain tiles – the sort which lines the walls of bathrooms around the world.
Meanwhile, a wretched day at the SCG saw the Media Centre increasingly filled with talk of an ‘inevitable draw’. Test match draws the Proteas and ‘inevitability’ form an unlikely trio. South Africa hasn’t drawn a test match for five years. There have been 45 consecutive ‘results’ in that time, 23 wins and 22 losses. There is neither the time nor means for South Africa to win this test, but there is more than enough of both commodities for them to lose it. A potential 196 overs remain on the final two days and the forecast is considerably brighter.
THURSDAY 5 JANUARY
The Sydney Cricket Ground Media Centre should, by rights, be a place of pilgrimage for cricket commentators, a place every ball-by-baller can come to pay their respects, and a tribute to the greatest of them all, in the Richie Benaud Media Centre.
The fact that his famous, beige Chanel Nine jacket is framed in the entrance hallway adds not just a sense of ‘museum’ to the place but puts a smile on your face. He did well to hide, or at least disguise his sense of humor, but he knew very well indeed the jokes inspired by his “beige, ivory, or off-white” jackets, and the thought that one of them would be on permanent display would have tickled him. As did “The Richies” in the crowd who were dressing up and attending games well before he passed away, and continue to do so.
The day began with memorabilia of an altogether more important and weatherproof variety when Belinda Clark was on hand before the start of play to be a part of the unveiling of her bronze statue on the SCG ‘Walk of Fame’.
One of the greatest batters ever to play the Women’s game, probably the greatest, she has remained intimately involved in the game as an administrator and mentor and continues to provide inspiration to future generations. Despite her records and achievements, she remains stoically modest and understated. A pioneer and a role model in one package.
A day of damp and unrelenting toil for the South African bowlers who trudged away with a damp ball on a flat pitch and greasy outfield. Dean Elgar couldn’t wait to throw the old ball away, hurling it towards the boundary in mock disgust shortly after the umpires had unwrapped the new one and handed it to Anrich Nortje shortly before the lunch break. It did almost nothing, quickly became as damp and soft as the first one and the spinners were bowling within 20 overs as South Africa’s prospects of victory disappeared completely. The weather forecast for day three is the wettest of all five.
Day three is the official ‘Pink Day’ in memory of Jane McGrath and the McGrath Foundation which is hosting its 15th ‘Pink test’ to raise awareness of breast cancer and also funds to actively facilitate screening and care for nurses. Given the speed of the Proteas’ demise in the first test at the Gabbe, patrons attending the first two days at the SCG were being encouraged to donate to the cause…just in case.
WEDNESDAY 4 JANUARY
A frustrating day at the SCG was made far more tolerable for South Africa when Anrich Nortje claimed the wicket of Marnus Labuschagne moments before the umpires took the players off the field for the final time as bad light was joined by light rain shortly after 5:00 o’clock with the hosts on 147-2.
Labuschagne (79) was given a ‘reprieve’ nine runs before his dismissal when Simon Harmer caught him at first slip off Marco Jansen only for the on-field umpires, Paul Reiffel and Chris Gaffaney, to refer the catch upstairs to third umpire Richard Kettleborough – with a ‘soft signal’ of ‘out’.
After extensive viewing of the available camera angles, Kettleborough made the brave and unusual decision to overturn the on-field decision suggesting he thought the ball had touched the ground before Harmer caught it.
Five minutes after his decision a different camera shot emerged a front-on, ultra-zoom super slow-motion clip that showed the ball landing cleanly in the fielder’s right hand. Kettleborough did not have access to that footage. Australia has two TV broadcasters with Fox providing the world feed while Chanel Seven has its own, unilateral cameras and exclusive access to the Hawkeye cameras.
The more the game tries to help itself, the more it trips over its own feet.
Also on the subject of media, it would be entirely understandable if cricket fans and non-Australians had never heard of Nedd Brockman but last year he wrote himself into the folklore of the country by running coast-to-coast across the country covering 4000 kilometers in just over 46 days or over a marathon a day. It was a staggering achievement and he raised over A$ 1.85 million for charity in the process.
What made his achievement all the more startling was that he had no athletic background. Just an average fellow with a classic Aussie mullet who decided to ‘do’ something. He inspired the country and, although he will almost certainly face the prospect of hip and knee replacements in later life, he inspired a nation.
He lives, apparently, in the same suburb as Australian test captain, Pat Cummins, who took the opportunity to invite him to the team net practice on the eve of the Sydney test where he bowled a few overs of leg-spin as he had done in his un-illustrious club career.
The media, reporters, and photographers, were soon alerted to the story which was of enormous interest to their readers and viewers. They were told there would be no media or photo opportunities. It was a significant disappointment given that training was a public, not private event at the SCG.
An hour after training the story appeared on Cummins’ Instagram account. The pursuit of ‘followers’ is not, it would appear, limited to social media influencers and teenagers.
TUESDAY 3 JANUARY
As upsetting as it is, the realisation that this is almost certainly South Africa’s last test match in Sydney is hard to shake. It may also, consequently, be my last visit to this amazing city, so the time in between cricket duties has been packed with visits to my favourite places, for old times’ sake.
A couple of waterside developments caught my eye. I discovered I could even afford to buy one if I keep working at the current rate until I am 245 years old. But I’d have to do without the boat, which is fine because the ferries and water taxis are super-efficient and there’s no worry about maintenance and mooring fees.
Budgets are affecting everyone, even in Australia. Unlike the Proteas team of 2008, the current squad did not have the unforgettable pleasure of a boat trip in Darling Harbour to witness the fireworks display from the Harbour Bridge and Opera House on New Year’s eve, making do, instead, with an extremely good view from their hotel roof.
Yesterday’s monster cruise ship was replaced at Circular Quay by an even larger one. I’ve visited large towns with fewer inhabitants. If you stood the ship upright on its stern it would be taller than the majority of the city’s skyscrapers, with more residents. Suddenly, there were (brief) questions about a lifelong ambition to sail around the world on one of these vessels. It looked a little like a tightly packed apartment block for rich people.
The Bridge and Opera House have always been minor obsessions for me on my trips here over the last 25 years but they are merely the most popular focal points of a part of the world rich in natural beauty and, mostly, tasteful development. No wonder it is so expensive. The vast majority of Sydneysiders, not to mention emigrants, do not live anywhere near the water!
Just like the MCG, the SCG celebrates its heroes with commemorative plaques and statues almost everywhere you look or walk. There are plaques and statues celebrating Sir Donald Bradman, as you might expect, but one of my favourites is of Fred Spofforth, reputedly the first truly fast bowler of any generation. History doesn’t recall whether he had an evil look in his eye, but he certainly does in bronze.
The most recent addition is Steve Waugh. It is not a “yep, it’s unmistakably him” likeness but the addition of his lucky handkerchief protruding from his left trouser pocket confirms that it couldn’t be anyone else.
Starting the test with a guest-speaking appearance at an early breakfast tomorrow which always makes for a long day. With showers also forecast, I suspect the day’s play will feel like a lot longer than seven hours.
MONDAY 2 JANUARY
A glorious day in Sydney with blue skies and a balmy 27 degrees, perfect conditions for the 4000 or so people who poured out of the giant, round-the-world cruise liner which docked in Circular Quay this morning. Despite dozens of luxury coaches and mini-buses which had been called into service to disgorge the travellers into the city, there weren’t many Uber and taxi drivers out of work for an hour.
A full training session for the Proteas at the SCG was preceded by a chat with Marco Jansen during which he reaffirmed his desire to become “a genuine allrounder” by continuing to work hard on his batting. “You need to embrace the challenge, whether it’s taking six blows in the body for your team or bowling six or seven overs in a row. There’s no point hiding away from it, you know that sooner or later you’ll get hit,” he said.
Jansen also confirmed that the team were aware of the World Test Championship standings and that, should they win in Sydney and beat the West Indies at home in two tests in March they still stand a chance of qualifying for the final to be played in London in June. “It gives us something to aim for, a challenge.”
Heinrich Klaasen seems certain to replace Theunis de Bruyn who left the tour on paternity duty after the second test and Simon Harmer remains in the reckoning to replace Lungi Ngidi in the bowling attack – although he may replace Keshav Maharaj rather than join him if the wicket still looks as grassy as it did on Monday, two days out from the start of the test.
SUNDAY 1 JANUARY
Sydney cleans itself up with astonishing speed and efficiency after one of the biggest nights of New Year festivities anywhere in the world. By mid-morning, there was barely a piece of litter to be seen anywhere. Only the small chards of glass from (banned) glass and bottles and very occasional evidence of an upset stomach provided a clue that over a million people had been on the streets until the early hours of the morning.
The squash of humanity was distressing even seven hours before the midnight fireworks display so any thought of joining the throng was cast aside. But the view of the fireworks, even from an affordable hotel almost ten kilometres from The Bridge and Circular Quay, was impressive.
Old memories need to be revisited, just for fun. So I popped into a TAB betting pub while waiting for a Vietnamese takeaway. (Which was incredible.) Back in 1998, I was first introduced to these establishments which serve the full complement of drinks and show up to seven live sporting events, with live betting.
I had no idea how things worked back then and still don’t. But I placed a $5 bet on dog No 6 in race five at Wentworth Park. It was, allegedly, a “retired pet” priced at 16-1. It won. I placed the winnings on another silly bet in the next race and that won, too. My $5 had become $280 and I bought dinner and drinks. For three nights.
This time my chosen dog came last, by about eight metres, to my untrained eye. Which is as it should be. But I’m still ‘up’ after 24 years. Mostly, it is worth visiting a TAB pub just to watch the ‘Trots’. Compulsive viewing. Horses trying to win races without running. It’s the equine version of race walking.
Walking around the Opera House and Botanical Gardens this afternoon, I forgot about a scheduled interview with ABC radio, for whom I am commentating on this series. “We’re all hoping for a much more competitive match in Sydney, Neil. Is that realistic? Have South Africa got a lot more in the tank than they have shown so far?”
“Well, there is always a reason to hope, even when the situation appears hopeless.”
SATURDAY 31 DECEMBER
Sydney has its ‘issues’ like every other city in the world but it will never lose its breathtaking natural beauty and, presumably, the New Year’s eve fireworks display featuring the Harbour Bridge and Opera House will continue for many years to come.
Hundreds of thousands of people were already camped in place under the Bridge and around the Opera House by 3pm, a staggering six hours before the ‘preliminary’ show at 9pm and nine hours before the main event. All hail the youth!
Fireworks have been around for thousands of years thanks to Chinese ingenuity but Sydney didn’t actually get in on the act until 1976. A modest display of sparklers and Catherine Wheels on the Bridge has now grown into one of the great New Year events in the world, televised and enjoyed around the world.
Whichever cricket team is on tour is entertained with canapes and drinks on a boat from Circular Quay in the Harbour where they enjoy the very best views of the spectacle. It is an inspiring experience. The last time a South African team was here head coach Mickey Arthur fulfilled a promise to the team by plunging into the water for a swim after they had become the first South African team to win a series in Australia after 98 years of trying.
Seeing the world and making friends should always be part of the motivation for playing professional sport, no matter how much money there is to be made and pressure to win. The current Proteas squad may have disappeared without a fight in the first two tests of the series but that does not mean they shouldn’t enjoy the spectacle and make the very best of a night they won’t forget.
They will be aware of the reaction from cricket lovers at home but they must not take it personally. To a man, they have given their best and, accepting that it was a long way from good enough will be hard to digest. But that is no reason not to ‘switch off’ and cherish a very special evening.
Theunis de Bruyn won’t be part of the festivities having left the touring party to become part of something far more important – parenthood. Congratulations to him and his wife and we wish them all the best.
More to come from Sydney in the days ahead. Happy New Year to everyone, may 2023 bring you great fortune. And less load-shedding. 😊
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